Doubts about going back

The last few days seem to have blurred into one now, just endless working and sleeping and eating, with not much in between.

On a brighter note, I managed to get tickets for Glastonbury so that's quite good, I'd have been gutted if I'd have missed out, so thankfully it was all ok!

Another thing that's weighing on my mind is whether to go to my school's reunion...I think for me, school wasn't the most pleasant experience, and until Facebook came along and overtook my life, I had made a conscious decision not to keep in touch with many people I went to school with.

I always felt judged for the person I was when I was 12, not the person I had evolved or become. So leaving school and moving on was the best thing for me, I could start afresh and be who I really was.

I now have a good solid base of friends, and I worry that if I head back to my old school, see all these people who made my life hell, that I'll turn back into that horrible, stand-offish teenager I used to be...and that people won't see me for who I really am.
I guess I'm also apprehensive about seeing these people who I almost despised for so long (I don't think to presume that they are those same people form back then, I'm sure they've all grown and matured and are great people), but I know how I felt about them, and I worry that I'll treat them the way I used to, that we'll all end up reverting back to what we used to be.

If I'm honest, I'm a little scared of them all, what they'll think of me. Whether they'll see I'm actually not as bad and nasty as I was, that I've grown up and I'm different now or whether they'll write me off...I can't bare to think of people hating me.

Maybe it's easier to hide away, then take the chance.