Company

There's something not right today. I couldn't shake the feeling all day and I've not figured out what it is for sure but I have a feeling it might be something to do with a touch of loneliness. I still don't have proper friends down here, although each day I am growing closer to more people; spending time with CT last weekend showed us we have lots in common, even if at work we're stilted around each other, and the French students have taken me under their wing - we're having dinner tomorrow night and a trip to London on Saturday; plus Mrs Landlady and T have welcomed me into their lives with the warmth of the 2 wine buffs they are.

But I miss Julia and Tegan sorely, their presence in my life is a soothing balm of reciprocal level headed mothering, support and friendship

I guess I'm saying I want a constant in my life, other than myself (let's face it I'm unreliable for company)

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Now playing: UNKLE - Lonely Soul-Feat. Richard Ashcroft
via FoxyTunes

Listening

I've finally resorted to looking less fabulous - I'm just too cold at work to go without either a huge jumper, or a long sleeved t-shirt under my pretty tops. I just need to be warm. So somehow I've got to find a glamourous alternative, that doesn't involve sitting in my beautiful frock coat...

Hmmmmm

I'm still listening to the mix tape - 16 hours of music in short bursts takes a while to wade through, I've been delighted with all the artists but feel distinctly like I'm out of touch with good music - I've always counted myself as an indie chick; worn the badge proudly and unbendingly dedicated myself to digging out cool new indie bands. Only now I'm starting to feel ashamed of my arrogance - I'm loving the "electronica" on this tape, and the jazz I've seen recently. I should be branching out, only I don't know where to begin - I've ignored all these other types of music for so long, years.

Time to expand my horizons...talking of which French lessons are starting soon...

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Now playing: Frou Frou - Maddening Shroud
via FoxyTunes

Mix Tape

He made me a mix tape, and apart from being filled with tracks I adore but had never heard before (a hard task to achieve), it's incredibly sweet and retro cool.

*Contented*

And he's reminded me how much I love Elbow, which must be a good thing.

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Now playing: Elbow - Any Day Now
via FoxyTunes

WHAM!

This week has been good, and no late nights either! However I have a feeling that I'll be working late this week coming up - bummer!
On Wednesday night, I had the delightful privilege of being invited to a French birthday party, having perfected my party etiquette over the years, I arrived on time, with presents for the hostess, and an arrival gift. Unfortunately I have perfected my English etiquette, and felt that I fell short of the mark. Despite this, the evening was funny, with witty insights to English life provided by the Spanish and French among us; and we all discovered that men are just as much a mystery in any country, as they are here, although surprisingly the girls reckon English men are easier to read...(maybe they're just more well versed in the technique of flirting than the English girls assembled)

Friday night was the big dinner, and a good time was had. Having left work at 11.45, CT and I headed over to the train station, only to see the train departing...he was man faffing. Anyway once we were on our way the journey to London slipped by easily and we repaired to M&S at Paddington for food. On from there we made it to the hotel, despite me forgetting to bring my A-Z and poorly provided directions on the behalf of CT, I'm ashamed to say that he actually managed to spot the hotel before me, putting my directional abilities to shame (first man I've met who can do this mind you...!)

We had a tense few minutes checking in, when only 1 room could be found, all due to his very confusing double barrelled surname, but thankfully after a lot of explanation 2 rooms were produced! He even had the cheek to suggest that I could sleep on the sofa; although I had previously suggested he could sleep in the bath so maybe his offer wasn't that nasty after all.

Having arrived so early to the hotel, I managed a 2 hour nap before getting into my glad rags and heading down to our drinks reception, where we met CK and her fiancée (F), and I promptly discovered myself to be highly allergic to CK's perfume - from then on I had to stay at least 3m from her at all times, which was a shame.

On arriving at the Hall for the do, CT and I couldn't help but giggle endlessly about the funny names we could provide to the announcer on our entrance, but we chickened out at the last minute, which was a slight relief upon entering the room to find at least 500 people staring at the entrance... The dinner itself was interesting, many pleasant people, a 70 year old woman with an Amy Winehouse inspired beehive, the Ceremony of the Loving Cup (there's innuendo in there somewhere) and the waiter pouring cream sauce over the entire front of my plum silk dress (I'm not sure if the dry cleaner will be able to get it out, but here's to hoping!).

Our company also cleaned up at the awards, gaining 15 of the 28 prizes and winning the "Best in Show" award, so we went onwards with much hilarity to Ronnie Scott's, where we had the entire of the front floor to ourselves, and were able to be seating within a metre of my new hero. Curtis Stigers was out of this world, truly amazing, the songs were hypnotic, and beautiful, and as a jazz vocalist he was awe inspiring. We all had an excellent time and sat up drinking hard core cocktails until 3, when we where kicked out and headed home to the hotel, which upon arrival was proved to be still open. Needless to say I didn't get to bed until 5am, and was awake with sleeplessness at 6.30.

Having dragged myself down to the dinning hall with CT, CK and F for a hearty breakfast, CT and I headed off to the National Portrait Gallery for the Pop Art exhibition and Tate Modern for the new installation which I don't know the name of but is essentially a giant crack in the floor. CT reaffirmed himself as the King of Innuendo and we wondered round taking arty photos of the floor, and comedy photos of us pretending to be giants and cracking the floor. Much fun. (Photos coming soon to a Facebook account near you...)

We also hunted out WHAM! by Lichtenstein to finish off the Pop Art tour, before heading home (after a miss directed wonder through St Paul's gardens and me stepping in a puddle and completely soaking my right foot - which CT paid for later by rubbing it in that he had warm dry feet, when I playfully punched him and left the most enormous bruise...)

Having finally driven home and arrived at 8pm, I had some dinner and was in bed by 9pm...

Good times.

I've still got to go to British Museum, and the Dome for Tutankhamen, and Terracotta Warriors, but I couldn't get tickets. I'm also saving couture at V&A for another trip, plus finishing the Portrait Gallery, and the National Gallery - not to mention a visit to the Globe and doing the Barbican...

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Now playing: Mr Hudson & The Library - Ask The DJ
via FoxyTunes

Wow

A full week has passed since I last blogged, and it really doesn't seem like it should have done!

Work is full-on and challenging, but I'm getting there, and I'm also learning to say no to new projects, not least until I've finished some of the ones I've started. Needless to say I've been working late and enjoying working late (it reminds me of the endless nights at uni, working through until midnight before collapsing into bed). I haven't been working that excessively hard, but still, it's enough. Consequently I'm battling tiredness in that endless way I seem to do, but managing ok.

The weekend was spent scouring the shops for a dress, shoes and accessories for the dinner on Friday night - resulting in a delightful aubergine number from Ted Baker's outlet store in Swindon, and an enormous quantity of money spent in Accessorize.

I've also decided to see something in London on the Saturday as I'm there - I'm thinking Pop Art at the National Portrait Gallery, or a visit to The Tate, as I've only ever been to Tate Modern. Obviously this is all hangover dependant...

Friday night itself is shaping up to be very exciting; a range of pre drinks with several customers, private transport to and from the dinner, and we're going to the very prestigious Ronnie Scott's jazz club to see Curtis Stigers. I'm well excited, innit. (Plus I get a half day off as the pre-drinks start mid afternoon...I'll be on the ProPlus then...

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Whilst discussing top and tailing with friends during bed shortages (eg after a night out, between moving house), a colleague and ex-uni mate pronounces she'll never top and tail with me.

Shocked, and mildly surprised, I protest at the top of my voice and in the middle of the office...

" But I'm AWESOME in bed"

I'm never gonna live that down...

"Date"

While I sit here and reflect on the remarkable coincidence that my blog colours match my surfer inspired bedclothes (which I've had for months) I shall let you in on a little secret...

I have a "date". Now I say "date" because I'm not sure if it counts...I've been invited to be the "plus one" of one of my fellow designers in the office to that inaugural event that is the trade industry annual dinner next Friday. It's a chance to dress up and have a grossly overpriced meal at a top London hotel, and this girl wasn't gonna say no.

So far, no date. However the guy who asked me is a true gent, and bless him, went bright red when asking me, using the immortal "date" phrases like "don't feel obligated to say yes" and the uber-flattering "I thought of a few other girls, but as it's an industry thing, I thought you'd be the best choice". Well thanks, I feel top of your pile now. But anyway the chance is there to go out and have a laugh with friends from the office, get dressed up and network the room.

I think it'll be ok...I hope.

Although at the minute I'm sharing a room with him...each pair of tickets comes with a double room...I need to get onto the hotel sharpish, but I reckon I'll be out of luck :(

On the up side, you know you have an awesome job, when your boss actively encourages you to spend 3 days perfecting Harry Potter style name badges for everyone in the office and all the meeting rooms, just because he wants you to get it just right and not rush the job...

SEA

I'm a SEA, yes that's right I am a "Science and Engineering Ambassador" working with children in schools and youth programmes to encourage children (and especially girls) to enter the world of Engineering.

Now why I am a SEA, I'm not sure...I'm not an engineer and I most certainly know very little of science, other than some remnants of A Level stuff on chemistry and materials science from uni.

However having spent a morning teaching ***yes me, teaching, in a school!*** I have been invited as a positive role model to help young women into the industry. (Apparently being an Industrial Designer "counts" as engineering! HA, what world are they on!!)

Still I'm only obligated to undertake one activity with the children per year, having already spent a morning in a school, taking 2 tours round work and soon to be going into 3 schools for a critique session on their design work, I think I've done about 5 years worth of engagements.

Still who'd have thought? I positively hate all children (with notable exceptions for my delightful baby cousins) and can't imagine being a teacher, however I get to "do my bit" for a charity, help people, and work pay me to do it. Get in.

Oh and it looks great on the CV

Selfish? Moi? Mai non!

Post Secret

I saw a secret on the website, and thought I recognised the handwriting and the secret. But this was a week ago now and the postcards have changed. I wished I'd saved it. If it was you, I'm sorry for everything.

The Long Way

God where do I start? I've been disappeared from this blog for over a week, and have precious little to show for it. It's hardly like I went on holiday!

Firstly I recently moved house and have literally only just sorted the internet, so that my excuse, and I hope I haven't lost too many readers (although numbers are dwindling at an alarming rate!)

Guess it means I should make a decent entry.

How do you fancy hear about my trip to Amsterdam? Yes, ok then here goes.

Alarm seems to be going off, I don't understand as it's still dark outside, but rolling over I see that yes, it is 3.30am and I have to be up to catch the first flight out of Heathrow for my exciting adventure to the land of clogs. I manage to stumble around my room, stand on a plug and stub my toe, all without waking up the rest of the house (well, does the cat count?).

Stumbling out of the house in high heels and a respectable trouser suit I thank my lucky stars that the car isn't frozen over (time is currently 3.55am, the taxi is leaving work at 4am...I'm cutting it fine). Arriving bang on time I meet the other guys and we have surprisingly easy banter with the taxi driver all the way to the airport and manage to check in before security is even open (current thoughts: does the world exist at this time of day/night/twilight zone? what happens if I say "bomb"?...will I get to go back to bed?)
An extraordinarily large cup of tea and a pain au chocolat later and I'm on the KLM flight. At this point I'm convinced that I'm being flown today by the men in the Grolsch advert and the cheese and ham sandwich served for breakfast at 6.45am doesn't go down well. My stomach start to reject the ham and cheese and starts to remember that in less than 4 hours I'll be pitching ideas to an enormous company. Bricking it, moi? Non.

Amsterdam was lovely, again entirely populated by people who I am convinced will tell me that they'll "only let me drink it when it's ready", however the rain and odd proliferation of enormous decorated clogs doesn't put us off and the meeting is completed successfully if a little lengthily. The taxi banter on the way back to the airport is first rate, and I decide that actually G is nice, as well as gorgeous....Get in.

After a lunch of cheese and ham sandwiches, and a long wait at the airport (I still can't get over the difference the smoking ban makes here; you only notice when its not the same in other countries) and a relaxing nap with the iPod, we were back on the plane being fed yet more cheese and ham sandwiches.
I ended up back in bed by 10pm, but completely exhausted for the rest of this week.

In other news; my housemates had a halloween BBQ, which was quite a success and I met lots of lovely people (even though I retired to bed at 9.30...) and I'm counting my incredibly lucky stars that I moved out of the B&B, I've now had to become the master of deceptions - inventing meetings with friends, family outings and general engagements to avoid the tired advances of the Old Man. He really won't take no for an answer and I've taken to hiding in the office at lunch, avoiding him and leaving requests for dates unanswered. And he still hasn't got the hint. I wonder if I should go into work with it tattooed on my forehead. Mind you he'd be too busy gazing at me in a vomit inducing puppy-eyed stylie to notice.

Work is manic at the moment, and I'm rushed off my feet (in a great way) however I have earnt myself a reputation for wearing 4 inch heels - it seems that people at work don't see them often as they're always commenting. Maybe they don't like me being 6ft 2...(mind you I don't like being 6ft2 but I just love pretty shoes....)

So, from now on back to the regular posting and I promise to attempt to catch up with my blog reading

xx

No idea

Weariness seems to steal over me constantly, I'm forever in a state of shattered sleeplessness. It's not that I'm having difficultly in sleeping, far from it...I'm having difficultly getting enough even though I'm currently averaging 9 hours a night.
I've long considered myself a hungry sleeper, I need more than most, am tired easily, however conversely I'm a morning lark, and have trouble staying in bed.

Work is going well, I'm really enjoying the variety that my role supplies and I get to meet many people from many different backgrounds and specialities; today being a case in point, when I played conkers* over lunch with a fellow designer, a factory design engineer, a metal forming engineer and a French sales exec.

This morning's breakfast also held surprises; it was announced to me that one of my colleagues thinks he's in love with me. Great. This guy is nice, but definitely not for me, and far too old. At least I was hastily reassured that I hadn't lead him on whatsoever (a girl sometimes needs to check!) so I've spent the entire of today being embarrassed and school-girly about it, refusing to look him in the eye and generally ignoring him simply by virtue that I have no idea how to act around him now. Who would have thought I'm nearly a decade older than the school girls that act like that...

Will I ever learn how to deal with other people's affections?

Something sad inside me suggests possibly not. I'm just not to be trusted with other people's feelings and emotions, I screw them up and trample all over them...

A lesson to the wise, don't bother with this kitty, she's got no idea.


* I lost, boo hoo

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Now playing: Dido - All You Want
via FoxyTunes

Lie ins

Weekends are always a blessing, as every soul knows, but for me, they rarely involve a lie in. Now this isn't because I have to get up, its just that I wake up, same time, day in, day out. Trying to break that for the weekend has never worked. I attribute that to boarding school where a strict regimented life was applied (6 days a week at school, and Sunday morning in church for 9.15am) to the point where I'm trained to be awake before at least 7am every morning.

Not that I really mind it to be honest, I tend to get bored lying in bed, I'd rather be up and out and doing things - I feel like I'm wasting the few precious days that are solely mine to do what I want, if I lie in bed.
Anyway today was no different, and I've now been up for nearly 2 hours, watching a DVD on industrial packaging processes (actually quite interesting), and listening to The Music (although I'm shocked to see the lead singer has got rid of his trademark mane in favour of the skin head look).

Think its about time I got dressed and stopped wasting my day

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Now playing: The Music - Guide
via FoxyTunes

Bonjour!

I woke up this morning with the burning urge to make a blog entry, and I've no idea why really

Last night was another of house hunting and I think I've found the one! Its a little out of my budget, but I think I can stretch to it, its the most beautiful house ever, and I'll pop some photos up at some point. Rarely for a shared house there's just 4 rooms, there is an enormous 1st floor living room with balcony, enormous kitchen/dinning room/conservatory, plus a lovely little garden that backs onto one of the local parks (ideal in summer for BBQs, and generally for going running) and it's almost exactly half way between town and the ring road so the drive to work is great!

I have to confirm by Monday, which I can't imagine changing my mind about it, however I have already committed to seeing another house so I will go as I hate breaking my word, but I just know it isn't gonna be for me. Plus there is another room available that potentially Frenchie could have - again a bit out of her budget, but I think it's perfect, so I'll show her the photos and see what she says.

Other than that, thank god its the weekend, I'm wiped out from travelling, even though it was pointed out to me that you can't get jet-lag from Paris...I'm supposed to be going to Reading to see Monkey, but I'm not sure I can be bothered, might just stay here, chill out and go to the pub for the rugby final!

(And I realise the French titles will get boring soon, so just bare with me while I work it out of my system...)

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Now playing: Cold War Kids - We Used To Vacation
via FoxyTunes

Je peux parler français!

I'm just back from Paris, had a brilliant time, I never thought zipping about on the back of a (handsome man's) scooter in the rain at midnight could be so fun!

Needless to say not all the French liked me being there and chose to poison me..a full night of food poisoning (complete with delirious sweats) meant that come my meetings in the morning, I was pale, shaky and attractively clammy. Nice

At least everyone was really lovely to me, I met another woman with my name (quite confusing actually!); deciphered a crazy French keyboard; rediscovered that I can actually speak French (I even held a conversation with the receptionist)...so I've decided to relearn French, and with the help of my new French friends I'll be a pro in no time...hahaha *not*

And I got to do some flying, which I adore completely, everything from soaring above the rippling clouds to the way the setting sun caught the tips of clouds over an overcast London which appeared to be burning a deep crimson; the reassuring pressure of G force on your shoulders as the plane banks and pushes you a little deeper into your seat to the cheesey personae of the cabin crew.

There's a happy ERA

Weary

House hunting is the order of today, and I'm heading into town in the hope of seeing something I can remotely bring myself to live in - I've had to raise my budget to £500pm, which I really can't afford. How glad am I that the annual pay review and rises are assessed in January?...and that my team has already hit all the targets to ensure a rise - all I have to do is complete a project and some induction courses. Easy Peasey *not*

Istanbul has fallen through, but Amsterdam is back on the cards and most of this week will be in Paris, plus Folkie (one of my other B&B inmates) is back from Mexico tomorrow night with promises of a sombrero and the pub, and will make up for the fact that Frenchie is away in Paris for 2 weeks (although I'll be seeing Frenchie on Wednesday...hopefully, I'm missing her already!)

Unfortunately I was supplied with some surprising but vague information about U, which means I'm doubting my previous assessment of him. I hope that the supplier of the information is wrong, but needless to say it really was vague..."he had a complex life, an odd life" was literally all I got - she wouldn't say any more, but I know she knows. U is lovely, and I want to get to know him better (he even had the patience to explain the rules of rugby to me so I could enjoy the England-France game last night), but it seems it might be hard to get him to let me in, I feel he might hold me at a distance with humour; I just want to be his friend. We'll see.

Beginnings

House hunting is rubbish - all the houses in this city are horrible - you wouldn't let a dog live in some of the dives I've seen, all for the grand price of £400pm - its positively a rip off.

So I'm still hunting, and completely demoralised as well. Other than that the work is good, I have more projects on than fingers on my hands, but other than that Paris and Istanbul are beckoning, so fun times will be had.

I've decided to go home this weekend, and hopefully convince Stu to come house hunting with me - it's just so stressful, but we'll see what I end up doing, but I don't think any reunions are on the cards for me, I just can't do it.

In other news, I've met even more people at work and I'm rapidly forming loads of friendships, including my new favourite person, U. A wickedly dark sense of humour that matches mine down to the exaggeration that is such a part of me; complete insanity, all coupled with an intense sweetness, honesty and good natured personality, U is wonderful.

Beginnings are happening, even if I still feel blue

Hug

I'm so tired at the moment, and it just leads me to feel very lonely and isolated...not good.

I'm spending a lot of time looking for houses, and thankfully work has picked up a bit, so the days are going more quickly, rather than dragging by. And for all the people I meet I still feel like I'm a million miles from my friends. This move has been much tougher than any I've ever done before (going to boarding school, and having parents in the forces means I've done it. A lot). I'm sure it'll pick up, and get better, the more people I meet, but I desperately miss my friends from Reading and from uni.
One of the girls from uni is doing a reunion this weekend, which should be something I really look forward to, but I just can't bring myself to go, I don't think seeing some of the people there will be at all good for me, so instead I may look for houses, or go home to the reunion at school that I promised I'd go to, not that right now I'm in a particularly good frame of mine for bragging about how fabulous my life is (as inevitably one must at these occasions). Really I just want to curl up in a corner and sleep through it.

Either that or drink too much and sleep. Either way its sleep I need.

And a hug

8 Random Things

Now Mr Higgs has tagged me, and I can't turn him down...here we go...

The Rules

• You have to post these rules before giving you the facts.
• Players state eight random facts/habits about themselves.
• At the end of the blog post, you tag eight people and list their names. (Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.)
• People who are tagged need to write about their eight things on their own blog and also post these rules.

The Facts

• I claim to be 5ft 11, in fact I'm 5ft 10
• My great uncle played professional football in the winter, and was a Commonwealth long distance athlete in the summer (as legend has it)
• I am like a bird, I instinctively know where north is, even if you spin me round blindfolded (if I don't pass out...)
• I genuinely believe a healthy and balanced diet should include good quality wine
• I always feel alone, and disconnected to everyone else (that's not a cry for help or anything, I'm perfectly at ease with this!)
• I can't resist checking myself out in any/every mirror or shop window, not because I'm vain, but because I'm convinced I look like a tit and need to perform damage limitation to my appearance
• I eat custard cold from the can as a treat
• People think I'm outgoing, but in fact my ideal time is to be on my own, curled up with good music, wine and a good book; consequently I abhor going out, except on a very few occasions

Oh and I don't know who to tag, so fight amongst yourselves!

The Nicest Thing

I'd also like to thank Puss for nominating me for the Nice Matters award, I'm touched that someone thinks this angry, brash and heartless cow is nice, so thank you Puss :)

I should nominate some more people, but in all honesty all the blogs I read, already have it...

But I shall now leave you with the nicest lyrics I've ever heard, they fill me with nice feelings, and nice dreams of what could be. Isn't that nice?

"All I know is that you're so nice,
You're the nicest thing I've seen.
I wish that we could give it a go,
See if we could be something.

I wish I was your favourite girl,
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.
I wish I was your favourite smile,
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.

I wish you couldn't figure me out,
But you always wanna know what I was about.
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly,
'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.
Basically, I wish that you loved me,
I wish that you needed me,
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.

I wish that without me your heart would break,
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

All I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
I wish that we could see if we could be something"

MIA

It's been a long week missing, one full of adventures, boredom and sleeping.

The first week at work was good, I have many projects on, interesting ones too which is nice and some rather crazy ones too. I'm happy. I've also met so many wonderful people, the company seems to be entirely made up of under 35s, and I've now got many new international friends! I've even just come back from showing all the French graduates that English roast beef can be gorgeous :D.

House hunting is going slow, its difficult to find houses I want in the right area but I've still got a few weeks left in B&B to sort that out. I finally have my computer here with me tho, so expect to be back to the usual schedule of posting from now on
I promise to catch up on my reading soon
xx
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Now playing: Embrace - My Weakness Is None Of Your Business
via FoxyTunes