How To Get Disciplined By The Police

Step 1. Go to university library
Step 2. Find a desk
Step 3. Go to find a book, leave bag, take wallet and phone
Step 4. Ensure you are gone for at least 5-10 mins
Step 5. When you come back police will be on scene, going through your bag
Step 6. Deny the accusations of terrorism
Step 7. Deny accusations that your bag contains a bomb
Step 8. Stand and take the lecture that you could have been kidnapped/mugged
Step 9. Deny ringing the police saying there is a "disturbance" at 9.30am on a Saturday
Step 10. Go back to your work, and watch with bemusement as the police run round the library trying to find said "disturbance"