Old Friend

A friend of mine called this evening and while it is always fantastic to hear him, our phone calls are tinged with sadness.

He has a very painful and difficult respiratory illness. I don't really know what it is, its something we don't talk about and it always ends up being the elephant in the room. I never know what to say, and end up feeling eternally guilty and selfish (I'm prone to waffling on when flustered for what to say).

It was the worst this time, his voice was weak, and he sounded tired. Not tired like when you haven't slept well, he actually sounded tired of life. The exhaustion in his voice was so prominent it was like he was seeping away right in front of me.

Needless to say this has left me feeling ashamed and empty. I have a great life, for a start I've not been ill my entire life, but I seem to whine and complain about it. I have so much to be thankful for.

I think its time I started to appreciate it more.
Doing well in this degree is not the end of the world, life will go on. I hope.