Horse Dander

I've put a counter on the site, just to check if anyone is actually visiting - but it only seems to go up when I come on! This is not good...no-one is reading...

I'm feeling stressed out - my moodboard is taking much longer than expected and I've still not finished it. I'm going to a mates for some Rhino training at 6 so I don't even have the whole evening.
Plus I'm hungover. Yes I drank last night.

Before all you non-existant readers laugh and say I've failed in my tee-total adventures, let me point out that I was using the term tee-total to remove the pressure to drink from certain situations. I've had some great nights recently, stone cold sober, I've had some great night where I've fancied a beer, had one then switched to soft drinks, so no, I haven't fallen off the wagon, but last night I chose to drink and it was nice.

Saying you're tee-total to people stops them pressurising you into drinking - they soon get tired of trying to force a drink down your throat, and it means that when I drink, I drink because I fancy a glass of wine with my meal etc.

This is all part of me reclaiming my life.

Sometimes I feel that everything I do is so governed by other people, and I don't see why it should be, and plus it makes me feel bad. I'm not a control freak *in my opinion* but I like to have control over my life, which I think is a fair enough point.

One of my other decisions has been to wait. I've decided that I'm not going to be getting myself attached to a guy who likes me, if I don't really like them back.
I'm not looking to settle down right now, but why should I waste my time with someone I don't really like?

This seems totally obvious when stated like that, but I think a lot of people fall into the trap of being lonely and feeling like its expected that you are in a relationship.

I think its very important for me now to be single, alone, and be happy.

Its hard at the moment, I have darker times when I think about how the possibility is there that I might be on my own for a long time, possibly years, if I don't meet anyone who is good for me.

My friend David*, has been a real help to me recently, as he feels like he's going through the same thing, or has in the past. Its helping talking it through with someone who is facing the exact same situation and is more than a little daunted by it too.

I know he reads this too, so thank you, David, I hope you know who you are!


Fact of the Post: 18% of people are allergic to Horse Dander



*not his real name...what a surprise...