Nomad

Today has been an odd day - in some ways I got a lot done - firming up in my mind what i need to complete for my major project, but in other ways it feels like I did nothing - it seems like I spent hours wandering around today - walking to and from lectures, labs, home, friends houses. I feel a little nomadic today.

I really want to travel at some point in my life, I know I will only ever resent whatever it is that prevents me doing so. A job, a man, children. So I think realistically I should travel sooner rather than later, as I'm less likely to have those ties. I feel held back here.

But on days when all I crave is my own home, I worry that I'll never enjoy travelling.

I remember when I used to travel with work, on my own in a hotel room in Belgium, and each trip would feel endlessly enduring, even though it may have been no more than 36 hours door to door.

I hated hotel loneliness, and I hated not being able to speak the language, and having to muddle my way through the customs on my own. When I travel alone nothing feels fun anymore - a faux pas made with friends can be laughed off all the way to the next destination and can become an "in joke".

Made on your own and it becomes a cringeworthy reminder of your ineptitude.

So its days like today that I just want to hide back in my own little corner of the world, and days like these that panic me into thinking I'll hate every minute of my future travels.


**On a brighter note, the artiste formerly known as "David" has started a blog at my encouragement...**