Tuesday, October 23, 2007

No idea

Weariness seems to steal over me constantly, I'm forever in a state of shattered sleeplessness. It's not that I'm having difficultly in sleeping, far from it...I'm having difficultly getting enough even though I'm currently averaging 9 hours a night.
I've long considered myself a hungry sleeper, I need more than most, am tired easily, however conversely I'm a morning lark, and have trouble staying in bed.

Work is going well, I'm really enjoying the variety that my role supplies and I get to meet many people from many different backgrounds and specialities; today being a case in point, when I played conkers* over lunch with a fellow designer, a factory design engineer, a metal forming engineer and a French sales exec.

This morning's breakfast also held surprises; it was announced to me that one of my colleagues thinks he's in love with me. Great. This guy is nice, but definitely not for me, and far too old. At least I was hastily reassured that I hadn't lead him on whatsoever (a girl sometimes needs to check!) so I've spent the entire of today being embarrassed and school-girly about it, refusing to look him in the eye and generally ignoring him simply by virtue that I have no idea how to act around him now. Who would have thought I'm nearly a decade older than the school girls that act like that...

Will I ever learn how to deal with other people's affections?

Something sad inside me suggests possibly not. I'm just not to be trusted with other people's feelings and emotions, I screw them up and trample all over them...

A lesson to the wise, don't bother with this kitty, she's got no idea.


* I lost, boo hoo


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Now playing: Dido - All You Want
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Lie ins

Weekends are always a blessing, as every soul knows, but for me, they rarely involve a lie in. Now this isn't because I have to get up, its just that I wake up, same time, day in, day out. Trying to break that for the weekend has never worked. I attribute that to boarding school where a strict regimented life was applied (6 days a week at school, and Sunday morning in church for 9.15am) to the point where I'm trained to be awake before at least 7am every morning.

Not that I really mind it to be honest, I tend to get bored lying in bed, I'd rather be up and out and doing things - I feel like I'm wasting the few precious days that are solely mine to do what I want, if I lie in bed.
Anyway today was no different, and I've now been up for nearly 2 hours, watching a DVD on industrial packaging processes (actually quite interesting), and listening to The Music (although I'm shocked to see the lead singer has got rid of his trademark mane in favour of the skin head look).

Think its about time I got dressed and stopped wasting my day

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Now playing: The Music - Guide
via FoxyTunes

Friday, October 19, 2007

Bonjour!

I woke up this morning with the burning urge to make a blog entry, and I've no idea why really

Last night was another of house hunting and I think I've found the one! Its a little out of my budget, but I think I can stretch to it, its the most beautiful house ever, and I'll pop some photos up at some point. Rarely for a shared house there's just 4 rooms, there is an enormous 1st floor living room with balcony, enormous kitchen/dinning room/conservatory, plus a lovely little garden that backs onto one of the local parks (ideal in summer for BBQs, and generally for going running) and it's almost exactly half way between town and the ring road so the drive to work is great!

I have to confirm by Monday, which I can't imagine changing my mind about it, however I have already committed to seeing another house so I will go as I hate breaking my word, but I just know it isn't gonna be for me. Plus there is another room available that potentially Frenchie could have - again a bit out of her budget, but I think it's perfect, so I'll show her the photos and see what she says.

Other than that, thank god its the weekend, I'm wiped out from travelling, even though it was pointed out to me that you can't get jet-lag from Paris...I'm supposed to be going to Reading to see Monkey, but I'm not sure I can be bothered, might just stay here, chill out and go to the pub for the rugby final!

(And I realise the French titles will get boring soon, so just bare with me while I work it out of my system...)

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Now playing: Cold War Kids - We Used To Vacation
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Je peux parler français!

I'm just back from Paris, had a brilliant time, I never thought zipping about on the back of a (handsome man's) scooter in the rain at midnight could be so fun!

Needless to say not all the French liked me being there and chose to poison me..a full night of food poisoning (complete with delirious sweats) meant that come my meetings in the morning, I was pale, shaky and attractively clammy. Nice

At least everyone was really lovely to me, I met another woman with my name (quite confusing actually!); deciphered a crazy French keyboard; rediscovered that I can actually speak French (I even held a conversation with the receptionist)...so I've decided to relearn French, and with the help of my new French friends I'll be a pro in no time...hahaha *not*

And I got to do some flying, which I adore completely, everything from soaring above the rippling clouds to the way the setting sun caught the tips of clouds over an overcast London which appeared to be burning a deep crimson; the reassuring pressure of G force on your shoulders as the plane banks and pushes you a little deeper into your seat to the cheesey personae of the cabin crew.

There's a happy ERA

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Weary

House hunting is the order of today, and I'm heading into town in the hope of seeing something I can remotely bring myself to live in - I've had to raise my budget to £500pm, which I really can't afford. How glad am I that the annual pay review and rises are assessed in January?...and that my team has already hit all the targets to ensure a rise - all I have to do is complete a project and some induction courses. Easy Peasey *not*

Istanbul has fallen through, but Amsterdam is back on the cards and most of this week will be in Paris, plus Folkie (one of my other B&B inmates) is back from Mexico tomorrow night with promises of a sombrero and the pub, and will make up for the fact that Frenchie is away in Paris for 2 weeks (although I'll be seeing Frenchie on Wednesday...hopefully, I'm missing her already!)

Unfortunately I was supplied with some surprising but vague information about U, which means I'm doubting my previous assessment of him. I hope that the supplier of the information is wrong, but needless to say it really was vague..."he had a complex life, an odd life" was literally all I got - she wouldn't say any more, but I know she knows. U is lovely, and I want to get to know him better (he even had the patience to explain the rules of rugby to me so I could enjoy the England-France game last night), but it seems it might be hard to get him to let me in, I feel he might hold me at a distance with humour; I just want to be his friend. We'll see.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Beginnings

House hunting is rubbish - all the houses in this city are horrible - you wouldn't let a dog live in some of the dives I've seen, all for the grand price of £400pm - its positively a rip off.

So I'm still hunting, and completely demoralised as well. Other than that the work is good, I have more projects on than fingers on my hands, but other than that Paris and Istanbul are beckoning, so fun times will be had.

I've decided to go home this weekend, and hopefully convince Stu to come house hunting with me - it's just so stressful, but we'll see what I end up doing, but I don't think any reunions are on the cards for me, I just can't do it.

In other news, I've met even more people at work and I'm rapidly forming loads of friendships, including my new favourite person, U. A wickedly dark sense of humour that matches mine down to the exaggeration that is such a part of me; complete insanity, all coupled with an intense sweetness, honesty and good natured personality, U is wonderful.

Beginnings are happening, even if I still feel blue

Monday, October 08, 2007

Hug

I'm so tired at the moment, and it just leads me to feel very lonely and isolated...not good.

I'm spending a lot of time looking for houses, and thankfully work has picked up a bit, so the days are going more quickly, rather than dragging by. And for all the people I meet I still feel like I'm a million miles from my friends. This move has been much tougher than any I've ever done before (going to boarding school, and having parents in the forces means I've done it. A lot). I'm sure it'll pick up, and get better, the more people I meet, but I desperately miss my friends from Reading and from uni.
One of the girls from uni is doing a reunion this weekend, which should be something I really look forward to, but I just can't bring myself to go, I don't think seeing some of the people there will be at all good for me, so instead I may look for houses, or go home to the reunion at school that I promised I'd go to, not that right now I'm in a particularly good frame of mine for bragging about how fabulous my life is (as inevitably one must at these occasions). Really I just want to curl up in a corner and sleep through it.

Either that or drink too much and sleep. Either way its sleep I need.

And a hug

Sunday, October 07, 2007

8 Random Things

Now Mr Higgs has tagged me, and I can't turn him down...here we go...

The Rules

  • You have to post these rules before giving you the facts.
  • Players state eight random facts/habits about themselves.
  • At the end of the blog post, you tag eight people and list their names. (Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.)
  • People who are tagged need to write about their eight things on their own blog and also post these rules.
The Facts

  • I claim to be 5ft 11, in fact I'm 5ft 10
  • My great uncle played professional football in the winter, and was a Commonwealth long distance athlete in the summer (as legend has it)
  • I am like a bird, I instinctively know where north is, even if you spin me round blindfolded (if I don't pass out...)
  • I genuinely believe a healthy and balanced diet should include good quality wine
  • I always feel alone, and disconnected to everyone else (that's not a cry for help or anything, I'm perfectly at ease with this!)
  • I can't resist checking myself out in any/every mirror or shop window, not because I'm vain, but because I'm convinced I look like a tit and need to perform damage limitation to my appearance
  • I eat custard cold from the can as a treat
  • People think I'm outgoing, but in fact my ideal time is to be on my own, curled up with good music, wine and a good book; consequently I abhor going out, except on a very few occasions
Oh and I don't know who to tag, so fight amongst yourselves!

The Nicest Thing


I'd also like to thank Puss for nominating me for the Nice Matters award, I'm touched that someone thinks this angry, brash and heartless cow is nice, so thank you Puss :)

I should nominate some more people, but in all honesty all the blogs I read, already have it...

But I shall now leave you with the nicest lyrics I've ever heard, they fill me with nice feelings, and nice dreams of what could be. Isn't that nice?

"All I know is that you're so nice,
You're the nicest thing I've seen.
I wish that we could give it a go,
See if we could be something.

I wish I was your favourite girl,
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.
I wish I was your favourite smile,
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.

I wish you couldn't figure me out,
But you always wanna know what I was about.
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly,
'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.
Basically, I wish that you loved me,
I wish that you needed me,
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.

I wish that without me your heart would break,
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

All I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
I wish that we could see if we could be something"

MIA

It's been a long week missing, one full of adventures, boredom and sleeping.

The first week at work was good, I have many projects on, interesting ones too which is nice and some rather crazy ones too. I'm happy. I've also met so many wonderful people, the company seems to be entirely made up of under 35s, and I've now got many new international friends! I've even just come back from showing all the French graduates that English roast beef can be gorgeous :D.

House hunting is going slow, its difficult to find houses I want in the right area but I've still got a few weeks left in B&B to sort that out. I finally have my computer here with me tho, so expect to be back to the usual schedule of posting from now on
I promise to catch up on my reading soon
xx
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Now playing: Embrace - My Weakness Is None Of Your Business
via FoxyTunes